How to Keep the Sabbath Day Holy

This is a talk from a Stake Conference given by my mother, Dana Crisp. The talk was given in Temecula, California on April 11th, 2016.

There is a story told of a rafter of turkeys. These turkeys were going about their normal turkey business of walking around and gobbling. On this particularly sunny day, and all of a sudden, there appeared a great, majestic eagle. The turkeys gathered around and the eagle smiled. "Good morning, my friends. Today I will teach you all to fly," he said.

Some of the turkeys scoffed. "Fly?! We're far too heavy. We will never do it!" Others wondered curiously. "Might it be possible?" Still others, faithfully cried, "What are we waiting for? Let's go!" They followed the eagle out to the field.

The faithful turkeys stepped up, and the eagle showed them how it was done. He taught them about wings and air and the more technical points of flying. But most importantly, he taught them by showing them. He flew and the faithful turkeys tried their best. The curious turkeys joined in, and learned a great deal. Even the skeptical ones came forward and learned their share. After hours and hours, and ups and downs, the turkeys started to fly! The first group hovered in the air. Encouraged, the curious turkeys tried. And they flew too! The skeptical turkeys took courage, and despite their initial doubt, they too flew.

After hours of enjoying their new found skill, the eagle gathered them together. "I'm proud of you!" He said. "You listened with great faith. Others were hesitant, but saw your brothers and sisters succeed, and became examples to the rest as you succeeded. It’s time for me to go, but take courage, and fly!" He then flew off dramatically into the sunset, as eagles tend to do.

The turkeys were left alone and they shared their stories of faith and the joy of their newfound skill. What once had been their weakness had become their strength. With night coming swiftly, they decided it was time to head home.

And they went home….walking.

During this conference we will hear many things…maybe some difficult things that we need to change in our lives. I pray that the Spirit will be with us now and, throughout this conference that we can find ways to do better and not go home walking, but flying.

In Isaiah 58:13-14 the prophet tells us:

13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight… and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure…

14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth… for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

I wonder how many of us, especially parents with children in the home, young or teenagers, really feel to “call the Sabbath a delight”? It takes a lot of planning and patience to keep children busy, to teach them to “not (find) their own pleasure” on Sundays.

Elder Nelson, in the April 2015 General Conference, spoke of making the Sabbath a delight. He referenced Exodus 31:13 which reads:

13 Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily my sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; that ye may know that I am the Lord that doth sanctify you..

Elder Nelson then said (quote):

“How do we hallow the Sabbath day? In my much younger years, I studied the work of others who had compiled lists of things to do and things not to do on the Sabbath. It wasn’t until later that I learned from the scriptures that my conduct and my attitude on the Sabbath constituted a sign between me and my Heavenly Father. (Exodus 31:13; Ezekiel 20:12, 20) With that understanding, I no longer needed lists of do’s and don’ts. When I had to make a decision whether or not an activity was appropriate for the Sabbath, I simply asked myself, “What sign do I want to give to God?” That question made my choices about the Sabbath day crystal clear.”(end quote)

I believe that the Lord recognizes that each family’s circumstance is different. For that reason, there is no official list of do’s and don’ts. But, He does expect us to do all that we can to keep His Sabbath day holy. Asking ourselves, as Elder Nelson said, “What sign do I want to give to God?” will keep us on track and help us to make our own list for our own family.

Of course, there ARE scriptural references to help up as well:

One example is in Doctrine and Covenants 59

9 And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day;

10 For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High;

12 But remember that on this, the Lord’s day, thou shalt offer thine oblations and thy sacraments unto the Most High, confessing thy sins unto thy brethren, and before the Lord.

13 And on this day thou shalt do none other thing, only let thy food be prepared with singleness of heart that thy fasting may be perfect, or, in other words, that thy joy may be full.

The Lord expects us to attend our meetings and especially, to partake of the sacrament. He expects us to repent; to fast and to pray. The blessing for obeying this commandment are clear: (continuing in Section 59)

15 And inasmuch as ye do these things with thanksgiving, with cheerful hearts and countenances…with a glad heart and a cheerful countenance—

16 Verily I say, that inasmuch as ye do this, the fulness of the earth is yours…

Who of us would deny ourselves, our children, our family the blessing of the “fullness of the earth”? That is one of the blessings of keeping the Sabbath day holy.

Also, regarding the things we should do on the Sabbath, President Spencer W Kimball said (quote)

“The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things. Abstinence from work and recreation is important but insufficient. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it. To observe it, one will be on his knees in prayer, preparing lessons, studying the gospel, meditating, visiting the ill and distressed, sleeping, reading wholesome material, and attending all the meetings of that day to which he is expected. [Failure] to do these proper things is a transgression on the omission side.” (end quote)

As to the things we should NOT do on the Sabbath, many of the prophets have shared stories and experiences that should clarify for us what the Lord expects.

One such example was given by our dear Prophet, Thomas S Monson:

"…may I share with you an example of one who determined early in life what his goals would be. I speak of Brother Clayton M. Christensen, a member of the Church who is a professor of business administration in the business school at Harvard University.

When he was 16 years old, Brother Christensen decided, among other things, that he would not play sports on Sunday. Years later, when he attended Oxford University in England, he played center on the basketball team. That year they had an undefeated season and went through to the British equivalent of what in the United States would be the NCAA basketball tournament.

They won their games fairly easily in the tournament, making it to the final four. It was then that Brother Christensen looked at the schedule and, to his absolute horror, saw that the final basketball game was scheduled to be played on a Sunday. He and the team had worked so hard to get where they were, and he was the starting center. He went to his coach with his dilemma. His coach was unsympathetic and told Brother Christensen he expected him to play in the game.

He went to his hotel room. He knelt down. He asked his Heavenly Father if it would be all right, just this once, if he played that game on Sunday. He said that before he had finished praying, he received the answer: “Clayton, what are you even asking me for? You know the answer.”

He went to his coach, telling him how sorry he was that he wouldn’t be playing in the final game. Then he went to the Sunday meetings in the local ward while his team played without him. He prayed mightily for their success. They did win.

That fateful, difficult decision was made more than 30 years ago. Brother Christensen has said that as time has passed, he considers it one of the most important decisions he ever made. It would have been very easy to have said, “You know, in general, keeping the Sabbath day holy is the right commandment, but in my particular extenuating circumstance, it’s okay if I don’t do it.” However, he says his entire life has turned out to be an unending stream of extenuating circumstances, and had he crossed the line just that once, then the next time something came up that was so demanding and critical, it would have been so much easier to cross the line again."

How often do we us our own “extenuating circumstances” as an excuse to break this or any other of the commandments? Again, I ask the question, “What sign do we want to give to God?”

I think that this quote from President Monson’s latest general conference address is another way to clarify our choices: “May we ever choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong.”

I pray that one of the things that we can fly home with today is a desire to be better at keeping the Sabbath Day Holy, to make it a Delight so that the Lord may bless us with the fullness of the earth.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Turn to the Lord

I love this time of year: springtime is coming and the baseball season has already begun. I've always loved baseball. As a player, I prided myself on hustle and always giving my all. But my sophomore year of high school was not my best year for baseball. I sprained my wrist prior to the season, halting my preseason preparation; I pulled more than one muscle, hampering my potential consistency throughout the season; and when I did play, it wasn't exactly my best.

On one particular game against one of our rivals, I just wasn't feeling right physically, but didn't want to tell my coach I wouldn't be able to start. So I played. My coach always pushed what is known as "small ball," which consists of making sure you always have a good chance to score by bunting runners on base over to the next base. I reached base and the sign came in that the next batter would try to bunt me over. Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned.

I had a knack and a reputation for stealing bases, and so as I stood on first base, the pitcher tried to pick me off. The pitcher threw over five or six times while I was at first. My initial feeling of fatigue was only added upon by having to dive back and get up over and over. The play was still on, however, and my teammate got the bunt down. I turned and ran toward second, thinking that they wouldn't even try to throw to get me out. I didn't even look over to see where they were throwing, and I slowed as I came to the base. To my great disappointment, and to that of my coach and my teammates, the throw did go to second base, and I didn't slide and I hadn't run hard. I was out. The realization came over me harshly: I hadn't hustled, and it cost my team. I was taken out of the game and I promptly exiled myself to the end of the bench. I can't remember if we won or lost; I can only remember my guilt, which only compounded when my coach announced we would do extra sprints as a team the next day at practice as a result of my lack of hustle.

The game had been a road game, and I was surprised after to see that my dad had gone out of his way to come pick me up after work to take me home. But a feeling came over me that I didn't want to go with him. I didn't want to face him and tell him I hadn't hustled and it had potentially cost us the game. I didn't want him to lecture or even the comfort. So I told him I'd just ride the bus and see him when we got to the school.

Since that day, which contributed to my later decision to quit the team at the end of the year, effectively ending my dreams of continuing my baseball career in college, I have pondered the significance not only of my mistake, but my reaction to my father. I have remembered the sad silence that accompanied me on the bus ride home as my teammates talked of other things and my coach "taught me" by ignoring me. I have remembered the pain that lingered because of my unfortunate reluctance to go to my father and tell him what happened, he being the only person at that time who could give me the words of comfort I needed. I have regretted not going to him when he reached out to me.

The Lord told Joseph Smith: "I leave these sayings with you to ponder in your hearts, with this commandment which I give unto you, that ye shall call upon me while I am near—draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (D&C 88:62-63)

We all make mistakes. We are like little children in the ways of spiritual things, and we stumble and sometimes we fall. The great plan of salvation that our Heavenly Father has prepared, however, is to help us to stop stumbling so we can't even fall. What we must realize, though, is that this process is designed to occur throughout a lifetime, and beyond. Perfection is an eternal process, and we needn't fuss too much over our shortcomings. Genuine humility and recognition of them and our dependence on and faith in our Father in heaven will be the base of a continued repentance that will lead us to perfection.

But we have to go to Him!

We can't say, "I'll just go on, and I'll see you when I feel ready," as I said to my dad, and expect to receive comfort and begin to move on. Though it might be the hardest thing to do when we mess up, the first thing we need to do is go to Him in prayer and tell Him that we failed to hustle, and it may have cost us. If we do that, the answer that we will get is, "Fear not."

"He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I the Lord remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sin--behold, he will confess them, and forsake them" (D&C 58:42-43). It just takes a little bit of hustle, and a lot of humility, but we must turn to the Lord.

The Personal Atonement

I wrote the following poem one day as I pondered on the Great Atonement made on our behalf by our Savior, even Jesus Christ. I hope that we can all reflect on our personal relationship with our Savior, and that we can come to a realization of the great opportunity we can have, if we but lean on Him.

So We Can Be Made Clean

I oftentimes wonder what Christ has done for me.

I stop and think of who I am and it’s easy to see;

For in speech I am not mighty, and I’m really not too strong,

And though I sing with all my heart, not pretty is my song.

But Christ has suffered just for me to get me thru my day;

For when I share His glorious word, He tells me what to say.

His friendship, it is perfect, and it is on Him I lean;

For Christ has suffered pain and guilt, so I can be made clean.

I oftentimes wonder what Christ has done for me.

I stop and think of the things I’ve done and it’s easy to see;

For sins I have committed, ones that make me feel real shame.

And at times I’ve treated this precious life as some sort of game.

But Christ has suffered just for me to allow me to return

Back to His precious fold and thru it all I learn

His sacrifice was perfect, and thru it I can lean,

On He who suffered pain and guilt so I can be made clean.

I oftentimes am lonely like I have nowhere to turn

But there is one important thing that I have come to learn

We should never feel alone on Earth, for Christ is on our side

To Him we may pour out our hearts, in Him we may confide

For Christ has suffered for us all, that we might not do the same

And all he asks us in return is to remember His holy name.

His friendship, it is perfect, and it is on Him I lean

For Christ has suffered pain and guilt so we can be made clean

It’s hard to understand what Christ has done for me

And hard to comprehend how He loves me constantly

He took upon Him my own sins in the Garden Gethsemane

And was beaten, mocked, and spat upon all the way to Calvary

His flesh was pierced by rusted nails as he was placed upon the cross

The Spirit was removed from Him, a most terrible a loss

In love He did it for you and me, and on Him I gladly lean

For Christ has suffered pain and death so we can be made clean.

Now oftentimes I ponder on the blessings in my life

I think about my trials and all the pain and all the strife

With all the ups and downs, all the dips along the way

All of it is worth it, ‘cause He rose on that third day.

For Christ had suffered all for us, yet rose in life once more

Ensuring that one day we could reap the blessings sowed

He lives, it’s true! He lives today! And so we may ever lean

On He who suffered, died, and lived so we can be made clean.

"Oh Sweet, the Joy this Sentence Gives"

Two years ago, during a Stake Conference in my home stake, we were blessed by the visit of Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. In the spirit the Easter Sunday that it was, he shared a powerful testimony of the reality of Jesus Christ; the truth of His divinity, and the power of His Atonement. I was blessed to be up on the same stand as him, as I took part in the choir. As the meeting was coming to a close, we as a choir stood to sing the closing number, the great LDS hymn, I Know That My Redeemer Lives. As the music began, the director mouthed the following words:

"Bear your testimony with your singing."

I took special note of the words I was singing, and the spirit testified so strongly to me of their truth that I had to stop singing, as tears streamed down my face. The words of the hymn struck me with a concentrated power. In the spirit of the upcoming Easter holiday, I would like to make special note here of certain lyrics--just a few--from this most beautiful hymn that struck me that day, and which have influenced my actions ever since.


He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above...

Have we stopped to consider how great a blessing we have to have a God that will love us no matter what? Have we taken a moment or two from our busy days to think of His suffering, to ponder His sacrifice, to be grateful for His love? I know that I often fall short of the covenant that I renew on a weekly basis to always remember Him, to keep His commandments, and to take upon me His name. What is most remarkable, however, is that no matter what I do (or don't do), His love is constant. I could forget about Him for a day, a week, for years, even, and He will be ever mindful of me. Why is that? What have I done to deserve such a blessing? Nothing. I have done nothing.

He has done everything. 

It was that sacrifice in the Garden, His endurance on the road to Calvary and on the cross there, even His triumphant return from the world of spirits in a perfected body which have allowed me the opportunity to overcome my sins and my ignorance, my laziness and my neglect. And so it is with all of us. All He really asks is that we do the little things: study our scriptures, go to church, attend the temple, pray. 

As I have pondered the concept and manner in which we have been asked to pray, in particular--directed to our Heavenly in the name of a Living Christ--I have come to the conclusion that there is something special going on there; a connection between us and Christ that we can easily miss out on if we don't take prayer seriously. I think of His famous intercessory prayer, recorded by John the Beloved. He said, "I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world...I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me...Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are" (John 17:6,9,11). In that holy moment He prayed for His disciples. Are we not also His disciples? When I feel burdened with particularly heavy burdens, such as sin or trials, I cannot help but feel that even as I cry in prayer to my Heavenly Father in His Holy Son's name, that that very Son--Our Savior and Our Brother--is kneeling right beside me, with His arm around me, guiding my words, and giving me comfort. Surely He lives to plead for us all above.

He lives to calm my trouble heart.
He lives all blessings to impart...

It was the Prophet Joseph whose complaints and questions to the Lord in the midst of incredible persecution led the Living Lord to say the following: "If the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" (D&C 122:7-8). It was that same Lord, who, during His ministry, said the following to His disciples: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek, and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). The Christ lives to allow us an intimate friend in our most trying moments. Such moments, as He pointed out to Joseph, are for our good, but that doesn't make them easy. If we can go to Him in the midst of such trials, He will give rest to our souls.

Indeed, those same sufferings and trials, included in His Atonement, allow us not only the capacity to grow in this life, but the potential to become perfect in the life to come. Bruce C. Hafen said:

Here we will see that the Lord's grace, unlocked by the Atonement, can perfect our imperfections....While much of the perfection process involves a cleansing from the contamination of sin and bitterness, there is an additional, affirmative dimension through which we acquire a Christlike nature, becoming perfect even as the Father and Son are perfect. The Savior's victory can compensate not only for our sins but also for our inadequacies; not only for our deliberate mistakes but also for our sins committed in ignorance, our errors of judgment, and our unavoidable imperfections. Our ultimate aspiration is more than being forgiven of sin--we seek to become holy, endowed affirmatively with Christlike attributes, at one with him, like him. Divine grace is the only source that can finally fulfill that aspiration.

Such a blessing is the greatest blessing that He and Our Father can impart, and the one which They labor incessantly to grant us.

He lives all glory to his name.
He lives, my Savior still the same.
Oh sweet, the joy this sentence gives.
I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES."

There is nothing that I am more grateful for in this life than the knowledge that I have that our Savior lives. It is this knowledge that we have which should drive us to desire to be disciples after His same demeanor--faithful, hopeful, loving. "And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work. Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence" (D&C 4:5-6). It is this knowledge which make writer Samuel Medley's words so powerful to me, and especially on that Easter Sunday with Elder Ballard. Oh sweet, the joy this sentence gives. I know that my Redeemer lives!"

To believe that Christ lives is to believe that He physically manifests Himself in order to ensure the correct direction of His kingdom here on Earth. This He does today. He did it in times of old. He did it even as He called the Prophet Joseph Smith, who said of it all, "And now after the many testimonies which have been given, this is the testimony, last of all, that we give of him: That he lives! For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father--that by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God" (D&C 76:22-24).

I second the Prophet's testimony here. He lives.

And oh, how sweet that is.

Trials and Miracles

"The beautiful thing about the concept of miracles is that even if we don't get exactly what we wanted or exactly what we expected, if we have the faith and the Christ-like mindset of 'Thy will be done,' we won't come away empty-handed. We'll walk away with the satisfaction and peace that we now know the will of God for us."


Naaman and Elisha
The Book of Second Kings in the Old Testament recounts the story of Naaman, an army commander, who was given a challenging trial, indeed. He contracted the highly contagious and deadly disease of leprosy. One of his wife's servants was a Jew. She knew of the prophets. She knew that Elisha was in Samaria, not too far from where they were. She suggested he make the trip to see the prophet to be healed. He accepted.

Arriving at the dwelling of the prophet, his situation was explained, and a command was given:

Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be healed. 

If you know anything about the River Jordan, you know that it is not at all clean. In fact, it is quite muddy and dirty. And so Naaman's reaction to this counsel is quite understandable. He didn't like it. He wanted the prophet to come out and heal him and get it over with. And since that didn't happen, he was ready to turn back home and live with his trial. But his wise servants said the following:

If the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou have done it? How much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean? Then went he down, and dipped himself seven times in Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God: and his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean. 
(2 Kings 5:13-14)

I love the imagery given, that his flesh was like that of a little child's. In truth his flesh was not the only thing that became as a little child's. His heart became so also. Even though he thought the suggestion was silly and overly simple, he followed it and was healed.


My Experience with "Silly" Counsel
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a really skinny guy. Almost painfully so. I always have been. When I was little I was always bothered by a sort of bulge of my ribcage on my left side, which was caused by slight scoliosis. When I got to the MTC, I read the story of Naaman and I thought, Might there be a way that I can get rid of this annoying bulge? Maybe a Naaman-type experience? And so I prayed. The impression I got was too random to have come from my own imagination; I felt that I needed to do two things:

1) I needed to run a mile every day in the allotted gym time and 2) I needed to stop drinking soda. Obviously those two things have very little if anything to do with bone structure, and yet I accepted it as a commandment. If the [Spirit] had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou have done it?...

For the two months I spent in the MTC I ran a mile every day. I absolutely hate running long distances, so this was a challenge, especially being in higher altitude than I was accustomed to. I stopped drinking soda during meals, and instead drank juice and water. At the end of my time in the MTC, I suddenly noticed that the bulge that had bothered me my entire life was gone. I realized that during that time I hadn't checked to see if the bulge remained; it was as if a stupor of thought made me forget to check so that the experience would have more power. I don't know if something about running helped with my posture, and I certainly don't know what not drinking soda had to do with anything, but I know that what happened to me was not an invention of my own making. It was a miracle wrought from a humble prayer of a naive new missionary.


Trials and Miracles
Many of us tend to have this perception of miracles as only being these elaborate supernatural occurrences, these awe-inspiring feats of extraordinary divine intervention: Moses parting the Red Sea, Christ raising Lazarus from the dead, Peter and John healing the lame man at the steps of the temple. Certainly these events were not natural as we would define it. But they were (and are) to God. In our personal lives, it is our faith which allows us to see those little miracles, like the one I had. That I know longer had a little bulge of my ribs may not seem to you very significant, but to me it was huge. That bulge represented all of the anxieties and self-consciousness that I had always had over my weak physical stature, and so to see it gone was a sign to me that the Lord was aware of those anxieties, and was willing to help me overcome them. So it is with these little personal miracles-- these tender mercies. They are personal manifestations of our Heavenly Father's ultimate love and perfect awareness of our situations.

A lot of times, however--as it was with Naaman--we fail to remember two important things in regards to this concept of personal miracles. 1) "By small and simple means are great things brought to pass." Ours is a God of simplicity. If He sees fit to perform a miracle in our lives, He will do it. He will more than likely ask something of us, but it will never be something complicated or impossible. Wash seven times in a dirty river. Run a mile every day. Stop drinking soda. Do we realize just how simple these things that the Lord asks us to do are? Give up just 10% of what you earn. Refrain from certain substances. (Note: Just because they're simple, obviously doesn't make them easy, per se, but certainly doable.) 2) He loves us. Consider this scripture from the apostle Paul:

My [child], despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son [or daughter] whom he receiveth....Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 
(Hebrews 12:5-6,11)

It is a perfect understanding of what it takes to grow into a perfected being that motivates our loving Heavenly Father to give us trials. Some lose family members. Others have to overcome terrible and painful diseases. Still others struggle through intense financial struggles. But just as the same God told the prophet Joseph Smith as he questioned his own trials and those of the early Saints,

If the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for they good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
(D&C 122:7-8)

(Watch this Mormon Message for more on how trials help us grow)

The miracles which are associated with our humble pleas to overcome these intense struggles become the foundation of our eternal relationship with our Heavenly Father. He knows us perfectly. We barely know Him. But when we pass through our own personal Gethsemane's, and feel the love that comes from the manifestations of our fervent prayers to Him, we come to know Him. We start to develop a deep, personal relationship with He who created us. The beautiful thing about the concept of miracles is that even if we don't get exactly what we wanted or exactly what we expected, if we have the faith and the Christ-like mindset of "Thy will be done," we won't come away empty-handed. We'll walk away with the satisfaction and peace that we now know the will of God for us. And of course, a perfect knowledge that He loves us. 

In closing let me share the words of the prophet Moroni, which he gave in prophetic, visionary "response" to the criticisms of modern-day miracles:

"The reason why he ceaseth to do miracles among the children of men is because that they dwindle in unbelief, and depart from the right way, and know not the God in whom they should trust. Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth."
(Mormon 9:20-21)

Shame Is Never the Answer

We have been asked by our Heavenly Father to keep the commandments in order to build a Christlike character on the road to perfection and exaltation. We don't always do that. In order to overcome the debilitating effects of this disobedience, a Savior was provided who took upon Himself the consequences of these sins,  and has set His own qualification for forgiveness ("Follow thou me..."). This process known as repentance is simple, but it is rarely easy. The nature of sin is such that when it occurs it unleashes within us certain feelings. The most frequent is guilt. The most deadly is shame.
The great Apostle Paul said the following in correspondence to the early church in the city of Corinth:

Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
(2 Corinthians 7:9-10)

In this we see clearly that there are different types of guilt, and they have varying potential outcomes. We will discuss three: Godly Sorrow, "Self-induced" Guilt, and Shame. We will define each one, then discuss them together in further depth. In studying these types of guilt, we can get a sense of certain reactions we can have to sin, whether it be our own or those around us: 1) there is only one type of guilt that can truly lead us to repent, and 2) taking the guilt process into our own hands (or hearts) can be detrimental to our progress, or that of those around us.

Godly Sorrow
Just as Paul describes, this guilt comes directly from our Heavenly Father through the Spirit. It is that uncomfortable feeling that we get when we know that we've done something wrong, and feel a desire to change. It is the only sure-fire way to lead us to repent. We should keep in mind that though we may feel such a desire, the Lord respects our agency, and will never force us to repent.

"Self-induced Guilt"
I would describe this type of guilt as "the guilt of perfectionism." It is a self-induced feeling that we have messed up, and most often leads us to sulk and feel that we are not good enough. This feeling may, however, lead us to ponder our overall desires, which allows the Spirit to enter, and replaces the self-induced guilt with Godly sorrow, which will help us repent. It most often, however, leads us to the third type of guilt, which does just the opposite.

Shame
The dictionary describes shame like this: "a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior." Think of the last time you felt humiliated. Did it make you want to be better, or did it make you want to sink in a hole and never come out? In the scripture above, Paul describes the dichotomy of Godly Sorrow and shame. His words are powerful: "For godly sorrow worketh repentance...but the sorrow of the world worketh death." We know that there are two types of death: spiritual and physical. Most of the time, shame leads us to a state of spiritual death.

We believe the adversary's common lies of "You're just not good enough," "You can never change," or "You might as well not even try." This drives us down into further despair, and we can easily fall into more sin, and greater humiliation. The most terrible thing about shame, however, is that such a feeling can lead us to physical death as well. One of the greatest tragedies of this mortal existence, and one that I think pains our Heavenly Father more than just about anything, is that many of His sons and daughters take their lives because of this feeling. The nature of shame is this: it will never ever ever lead us to repentance. It will never ever ever lead someone to repentance if you or I try and shame them for their sins.

Simply put: Shame is never the answer.

So we see, Godly sorrow cannot and will not ever hurt us. It is the only "gentle" form of guilt in that it is so perfect that the only result is positive change (if we so choose to follow it). It doesn't mean that it will be comfortable. To the contrary, it is almost always uncomfortable, but never damaging. The self-induced guilt and that which we receive from the words of others has an incredible potential to damage us--many times one doesn't come back from the guilt they put on themselves, or that which they feel from others' words or actions. However, a good friend or family member may call on us to repent, and it may cause us to change. Many of us have felt the need to change because of the words of one of our local Church leaders, or a General Authority. In such a case, we experience a feeling of Godly sorrow, because the words of those men and women are inspired, and delivered with consideration to the sensitivity of the sinner. As Paul points out, the only sure way for us to change is through Godly sorrow. The positively, sure way to be negatively influenced is through shame.

Knowing this, we can be more aware of how we should react to our loved ones when they fall short, and we desire them to change. We should realize this: if there is even a sliver of a possibility that there will be a negative reaction, it would be best to just keep our mouths shut. Just because we may be in a position to call someone to repentance definitely does not mean it is our place. In fact, if the person in question is not a loved one, and you are not in a position of leadership which has as its duties calls to repentance (like a Bishop or a full-time missionary), there's a pretty good chance that you shouldn't bring it up at all. Why?

Because of the potential for shame to be the guilt that comes. Shame is never the answer.

To close I would like to present a specific area in which many members have felt the need to speak out or act out, and it has had a very negative result.

There has been a disturbing trend in parts of the world. There has been a rash of suicides by members of the Church, mostly youth-age individuals, who identify as homosexuals, or who have just felt same-sex attraction. Only one thing can possibly be the root of these tragic choices, and it is shame--the feeling that because of the attractions they have, they can never repent, and so life is no longer worth living. I would say that a good number of these has been caused by a self-induced guilt, coupled with the sad acceptance of Satan's flat out lies, and/or failed attempts to control their attractions; the ultimate feeling is then a deep shame, which causes them to make that choice to take their lives. But certainly, the remaining cases have been caused by insensitive words or careless actions. Though there be no direct exhortation to change one's ways, frivolous and derogatory comments have given the impression that there is a general consensus of the "unforgivability" of the sin. Of course this could be true of any sin, but it is incredibly common with that of homosexuality. "That's so gay" is such a common expression, and always directed at negative things, and it's just one example of the type of comments or actions that are so common. What we fail to realize is that feelings of same-sex attraction are more common among members of the Church than we would expect, and our insensitive and careless "general exhortations" are doing damage. I am in no way condoning homosexual activities. I am condemning hatred of any kind to anyone. Animosity toward identifiers of homosexuality among members needs to end. It's not our place to shame others into repentance; in reality, it is not possible to shame into repentance. Our place is to love with Christ-like love, and that's it.

Christ himself will take care of the rest.

Our reaction to our own sin is also something we must always consider. I hope that we can always realize that there is virtually nothing that we can do that we can't repent. What's even more sure than that, is that there is literally nothing we can do that will make our Heavenly Father and His Son cease to love us. Don't believe Satan's lies. Believe that God loves you, and don't let shame overpower you. Shame is never the answer.

How to Shift Our Priorities

Oliver Cowdery

In April of 1829, the Prophet Joseph Smith received a revelation on behalf of Oliver Cowdery. Oliver had recently arrived at Joseph's front door following a prompting of the Spirit to seek the supposed prophet, and soon became his transcriber of the first translation of the Book of Mormon. In this revelation, the Lord shed light on Oliver's potential role in the ushering forth of the Restoration of the pure Gospel of Christ. As part of this revelation, the Lord said, "Seek not for riches but for wisdom, and behold, the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you, and then shall you be made rich. Behold, he that hath eternal life is rich. Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be unto you; and if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation" (D&C 6:7-8). The main thing we can get from these powerful verses in this: we all have great potential to be "the means of doing much good in this generation," but there is a main stipulation, and it's one that the Lord pointed out to Oliver: it has to be our desire, and it has to be our main priority. So if we are to reach our own potential and do such good in this generation that desperately needs good to be done, we need to take a second to ask ourselves a simple question:

Where are my priorities right now?

If we are not satisfied with our answer to that question (which happens to me quite a bit), there has to be a way to change it easily, right? It shouldn't be that hard.

I have learned from experience that it's not that easy.

A priority stems from our innermost desires. Desire influences our actions, and our continued actions constitute evidence of where our priorities really lie. Our priorities are also a glimpse at our ultimate destiny--not in the mystical sort of sense, but in the sense that we can get insight into what the end of our road will look like. A quick review of what things are most filling our time will give us a glimpse into what will fill our time in the future if those same priorities were to persist. This is where the answer to that personal question can get difficult; it hurts when we realize that our current priorities are taking us down a path that we know will not lead us to Christ. At the same time, the adversary attempts to deceive us into thinking that we can change those mistaken priorities easily. He often tries to make us think that we can change them when our circumstances get better or when a certain event happens to us that will then make it easier to be a disciple.

When this trial ends, I can be happy... When I get married, it'll be easier to stop looking at pornography... When I get a new job, I'll start paying my tithing; right now it's too hard...

Like I said, I have learned from sad experience that this mindset is fundamentally flawed. Our desires don't change on the flip of a switch, and so neither do our conditioned actions and habits. If we want our priorities to change, we have to think about what we truly want, and then make the conscious and prayerfully consecrated decision to act in full faith according to those desires.

One of my favorite talks of all-time is one called "Desire," given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks in April of 2011 (Read it here). In the talk he clearly articulates what it takes for the desire of sin to be relinquished. The words of the Lord to Oliver of "if you desire" take on new meaning:

"When people are described as 'having lost their desire for sin,'" Elder Oaks says, "it is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to 'give away all [their] sins' in order to know God. Therefore, what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity....As important as it is to lose every desire for sin, eternal life requires more....It is our actions and our desire that cause us to become something."

It is our own conscious decision to change which will ultimately allow us to shift our priorities. It comes first from a conscious and humble decision to let our desires for the things of God overpower our desires for the carnal, temporal things of the world. This can only be done in open and humble correspondence with our Heavenly Father, leaning on the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ. Our own personal decision to act on this change is the next and most important step. Even if we make a decision to change, no change happens unless we act on it. Like the Lord told Oliver:

Even as you desire of me so it shall be unto you; and if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation.

It's on us.


One point that I would like to make in closing is something that I have pondered on a lot lately, and that is how we can be happy amidst terrible tragedies and deep disappointments in our lives. It is only natural to be sad or to be depressed by these occurrences, which seem to plague us. The main question, again is: how can we be happy in the midst of these struggles.  The answer in theory is easy, and I'll elaborate. In practice it's not so easy.

We must make being happy no matter what a priority in our lives. 

An example from Church history will provide greater insight. The early Saints' arrival to the state of Missouri set off a series of some of the most terrible tragedies and deepest disappointments that any of us could ever imagine. Mobs, expulsion into freezing conditions, slaughter. It was easy for many members to lose faith and lose hope as the hatred against them began to build. But on November 12, 1838, more than five years after they had arrived in Missouri and the terror began, there was an incredible miracle. Parley P. Pratt recounted:

"To our great astonishment all the firmament seemed enveloped in splendid fireworks, as if every star in the broad expanse had been hurled from its course, and sent lawless through the wilds of ether. Thousands of bright meteors were shooting through space in every direction, with long trains of light following in their course. This lasted for several hours, and was only closed by the dawn of the rising sun. Every heart was filled with joy at this majestic display of signs and wonders, showing the near approach of the coming of the Son of God."

Wait a second. Did this event change their circumstances? Were they suddenly allowed to go back to their homes? Did the freezing temperatures change to a nice 70 degrees? Were the dead raised and families restored? Obviously not.

And yet it was this event which inspired WW Phelps to write:

Now let us rejoice in the day of salvation

No longer as strangers on earth need we roam

Good tidings are sounding for us and each nation

And shortly the hour of salvation doth come.

In faith we'll rely on the arm of Jehovah

To guide thru these last days of trouble and gloom,

And after the scourges and harvest are over,

We'll rise with the just when the Savior doth come.

Then all that was promised the Saints will be given,

And they will be crown'd with the angels of heaven

And earth will appear as the Garden of Eden,

And Christ and his people will ever be one.

(Now Let Us Rejoice, LDS Hymn #3)

(This story recounted in Meridian Magazine. Read here)

These faithful Saints made the conscious decision, based on what they felt was a divine manifestation, to "rejoice" of the blessings to come, instead of sulking midst the trials that were happening to them. This decision, based on the desire that they had to have not temporal peace, but eternal peace and joy in the celestial kingdom, led them to act. This pattern of desire-based action by thousands of Saints show forth their true priority in that time: build the kingdom of God. This is a proven formula to being happy in the midst of terrible trial, and one that we should ponder right away. Sulking is an attitude that Satan loves. He loves when we dwell that those things we can't control. He loves when we feel like we can't change those we can. But happiness and joy only come from God. "If we desire," that happiness is ours, no matter what our circumstances may be. 

So where are we at in our desires? Our actions? Our priorities? If they're not where we'd like them, it's up to us to change them. It takes a simple reflection and time on our knees. It takes effort. But that effort will be worth it. If we can let the desire to please God and build His kingdom on earth drive our actions, without a doubt we will "be the means of doing much good in this generation."