"That They May Be Made Perfect in One"

"If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment. that ye love one another, as I have loved you" (John 14:10-12)

There is unrest in the world we live in. There isn't a lot of joy going around in that great, round collective community we live in. There is violence, there is sickness, there is poverty. There is suffering in all its many forms. The greatest attention, at least in the United States, has been given to particular issues that have divided us. Whatever your position is on these events, there are undeniable, objective facts:

There has been death.
There has been suffering.
There has been hate.

This, of course, is nothing new. It is a natural characteristic of a fallen world to have death and suffering. But our reaction to such events, especially among those of us who have such a knowledge of Christ's gospel as we do, can be different in an important way. My purpose in writing here is not to change anyone's opinion about recent events and what should be done about them. My purpose is to leave a reminder of the great commandment that Christ gave us to love one another, and why He has given it to us. I bring up recent events and the subsequent reactions not to stir anything up any way or the other, but as an example of how a disciple of Jesus Christ can apply charity and understanding to such a situation.

As the scripture above points out, "abiding in His love" is conditional. Certainly His unconditional love is just that--unconditional--but receiving all the blessings that He would have us receive because of that love is conditional on our obedience. "If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love," the Savior said. The prophet Alma took it a step further, detailing the attributes that are necessary to receive those highest of blessings. He said,

"But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering; having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest." (Alma 13:28-29)

And so the details of that commandment become clear. If we will humble ourselves and keep the commandments, there are certain attributes that should show forth. In particular, Alma notes faith, hope, and charity. That charity--that "love of God"-- must always be in our hearts. We are commanded to love all. Not just those we agree with. Not just those who share our opinion about things. No, we are commanded to love all. That was part of the covenant we made when we stepped into that baptismal font.

Now it is certainly true that we are all different. That is abundantly clear. And it's certainly true that love doesn't mean we have to agree on things. Any married couple can testify of that. But love does require us to not let our disagreements divide us. It requires us to take a step back and consider others' opinions. It requires us to avoid unrighteous judgment at all costs. It requires us to let others believe what they will believe without thinking less of them. Just as Christ's love for each and every one of us is unconditional, so our love for everyone must unconditional. We may not agree with people's demonstrations or their stands or their values or their protests.

But we are required to love them.

What I have noticed is that lately our disagreements have not been in the least bit civil. There has not been an attitude of "agree to disagree." There has been little love. The reaction to a difference of opinion has been contention and hate and division. This is one of the great victories of Satan in these latter days. That we have gotten to the point where we can so easily turn against each other must be one of the adversary's proudest accomplishments. But it was our Dear Savior's prayer, just prior to His greatest show of His love for us, that we not be divided, but one. 

"That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us...I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou has loved me." (John 17:21,23)

Our Savior would have us been one in mind and purpose because this is the entire purpose of our coming to this earth in the first place. Our goal is ever to become as He is and to qualify for the great eternal blessings that he has promised. But how can we become as He is if we cannot keep ourselves from engaging in the division and the hate that the world is stirring up in these latter days? How can we love others if we are constantly looking for ways to make our point at the expense of others? How can we love others, and be made perfect in one together, if we--those who are to be the light to the world--are contributing to that great divide that is growing with every new polarizing world event?

The simple answer is that we can't.

I would like to leave an invitation as I close. Social media is the great device of this division. The advances that we've seen in social media technology can and should be used to unite, inspire, and uplift those around us, and yet we've seen that in great measure it has done just the opposite. It has divided and put down. My invitation, therefore, is that we as disciples of Jesus Christ be mindful of what we post and what we tweet and what we share. Before posting anything regarding politics or any polarizing event of the day, ask yourself:

Will this post help to bring people together or contribute to the great divide?

It is one thing to express an opinion. It is another entirely to do so in a way that vilifies another person or group of people or their opinion. It was Christ who taught: "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again" (Matthew 7:1-2). And eighteen centuries later, He taught, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10).

As disciples of Christ, our standard for our treatment of others is higher. Much higher. There will always be someone who does or thinks or says something you don't agree with. Let it go. Look past their actions and their opinion and see them for the child of God that they are.

Black, white, brown, grey, gay, straight, cop, protester: we are all children of God, and He loves us all the same. Let us be one, and not divided.

The Power of Unselfish (and Anonymous) Service

“He who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgets himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this life and in eternity.”

-Gordon Hinckley

When Alma, the former priest of a wicked King who was redeemed and repentant after hearing the words of the martyred prophet Abinadi, taught his followers of the covenant of baptism, he emphasized a certain attitude which one must be willing to adopt in order to be fully accepted into the fold of God. He said, "And are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:8-9). Clearly defined, there are three main things we promise when we are baptized, as we are reminded of on a weekly basis as the sacrament prayers are being read:

1) Take upon us the name of Christ

2) Keep the Commandments

3) Always remember Him

As a take upon ourselves the name of Christ, we are assuming the role that He himself played during His ministry, of going about doing good. He did not waste time. He was never idle. And most importantly, He was always looking for opportunities to serve those around Him. When we truly take upon us His name, we will find ourselves far more open to going outside of our comfort zones and helping those who stand in need. We will truly come to bear burdens with those who had previously been bearing them alone, just as Christ did. We will have true empathy for those who are suffering, like unto Christ whose empathy is perfect. We will be placed in positions to comfort those who are lacking peace in their trials, and will have the Spirit to truly help them find that peace, even as Christ did. 

Because we are imperfect we often miss out on those opportunities to serve with an unselfish heart. But the Lord has promised us that if we will serve in that manner, the blessings will not be small: "Therefore, o ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind, and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day....For behold, the field is white already to harvest; and lo, he that thrusteth in his sickle with his might, the same layeth up in store that he perisheth not, but bringeth salvation to his soul" (D&C 4:2,4). As we serve with all our energy, and free of any worldly or ulterior motives, we put ourselves on the path to eternal salvation, as we are thus coming closer to becoming like Christ. 

Elder Dallin Oaks taught the following of the modern world's mindset of selfishness, and how the gospel helps us transcend that mindset:

"The values of the world wrongly teach that 'it’s all about me.' That corrupting attitude produces no change and no growth. It is contrary to eternal progress toward the destiny God has identified in His great plan for His children. The plan of the gospel of Jesus Christ lifts us above our selfish desires and teaches us that this life is all about what we can become....Our Savior teaches us to follow Him by making the sacrifices necessary to lose ourselves in unselfish service to others."

So what can be done? What can we actually do to serve others with this unselfish attitude? Oftentimes "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak"; we are ever so willing to do what needs to be done but lack direction. 

The Lord taught through the prophet Joseph Smith that we need to be "anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of [our] own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; for the power is in [us], wherein [we] are agents unto [ourselves]" (D&C 58:27-28). A rule of thumb: if you're sitting around trying to come up with something to do and just can't do it, it may be best if you just get up and get to work. We are more likely to then receive inspiration and direction, as we are showing the Lord that we truly are willing to work. 

Oftentimes, the Lord will help us take advantage of our talents and even take into account our weaknesses.

A friend of mine in my ward at BYU told me that he has gotten into the habit of leaving notes for people. He has long contended that one of his weaknesses is saying what he'd like to say in terms of encouragement orally. He told me that when he was serving as a Zone Leader on his mission, he had struggled to help missionaries because he didn't know what to say to encourage them. So he was inspired to leave them notes in their planners when he'd do exchanges. One of the times he did it proved to be particularly impactful.

He did exchanges with a brand new missionary who was struggling because his trainer was struggling with depression. He was trying to learn a new language and how to be a missionary, but was finding it very difficult because of his lack of support from that trainer. While the Zone Leader's companion was working with the trainer, he worked with the new missionary, and they had good experiences through the day. At the end of the exchange, the leader applied his inspired pattern and left a sticky note with words of encouragement. And that was that.

More than a year later, my friend was on his final day of his mission, and stayed in the home of the Elders serving in positions in the Mission Offices. That once new and struggling missionary was one of those Office Elders. He went to my friend, his journal in hand, and said, "Do you remember this?" What my friend saw brought tears to his eyes: it was that sticky note, taped neatly into the page of the journal. The Elder then said, "You have no idea what this meant to me."

Just weeks ago that same friend told me that he felt inspired to write notes to a couple people in the ward. I had seen that some who had received these notes had posted on the ward Facebook page thanks to "whoever" left the notes. Knowing him, I asked if he had done it, and he said yes. I asked him why he did it, and why he did it anonymously. He then said, "I did it because I felt I should. For me that's what serving is all about. I get more satisfaction out of serving itself than any credit or ulterior thing I could possibly get out of it."

His humble service reminded me of a quote by the great John Wooden, "It is amazing what can be accomplished when nobody cares who gets the credit."

Our service in the gospel is about helping others and helping ourselves become more like our Savior. As we go out with pure hearts and a true desire to be of aid to those around us, the Lord will help us see what can be done, and we can then go forth to do it. 

The Lord's Definition of Perfection For Us

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Matthew 5:48

Of all the many commandments which we have been asked to adhere to, this undoubtedly tops the list of the most daunting. As imperfect beings, we look at this command, and we can't help but think of all of the many ways that we are just the opposite of perfect. We look at our propensity to fall in the face of temptation; we look at our weaknesses in general and the way they prohibit us from reaching what we perceive to be our greatest potential. How can I possibly live up to the blessings I've received, we ask ourselves. I can never be perfect, we then determine.

But as we study out in our minds the true doctrines of the Gospel--of repentance and of the Atonement--we can quickly realize that this charge that Christ gave for us to be perfect is a lot more manageable and achievable that we could have thought. The blessing that is the Atonement allows for it all to happen. Here we will discuss the means by which we can "be perfect," and also address the fallacy of perfectionism.

Justification and Sanctification

"And we know that justification through the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is just and true; and we know also that sanctification through the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is just and true, to all those who love and serve God with all their mights, minds, and strength." Doctrine and Covenants 20:30-31

By keeping our first estate and accepting our Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation and Happiness, we earned the opportunity to come to this earth and have our mortal experience. Because God is perfect, and no unclean thing can dwell with God, we could not return to His presence if we had come up short in any way. The Laws of God are strict, and our perfect adherence to them was absolutely necessary for exaltation according to the Plan. But knowing perfectly that we could not do it on our own, a Savior was provided, who would take upon Himself the consequences of our sins--among many other things--so that we could then make a covenant with Him that would satisfy the demands of justice to the Law.

That Savior, even Jesus Christ, prayed to the Father just prior to His performance of that Atonement, saying, "I in them, and thou in me, that they may be perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me" (John 17:23). With love as the motivation and our salvation the goal, the Atonement was performed.

It is through this Atonement that we can first be forgiven of our sins through justification. 

The apostle Paul wrote, "Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; and being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him" (Hebrews 5:8-9). Because our loving Savior atoned for the sins of every living soul, all are covered under the great pavilion of forgiveness and grace, predicated on one singular thing, as Paul pointed out: obedience. There is much ado made over a verse in the Book of Mormon which describes our means of salvation. It reads:

"For we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23)

Detractors of our faith accuse us of trying to earn our way to heaven. In truth, it is just the opposite. "All we can do" is repent. By obeying the commandments of the Lord Jesus Christ, and repenting of our sins when we fall short, we qualify for Him to take our sins and give us unconditional forgiveness. We are justified. In essence, we are allowed to lean on Christ's perfection so that He can become our advocate before the Father in pronouncing us to also be perfect according to that standard.

The other side of perfection is sanctification. 

The prophet-historian Mormon, in writing of the ancient members of the Church in the Americas, recorded that "they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God" (Helaman 3:35).

The other side of the coin of perfection involves the acts we do which allow our hearts to be made pure. It is the means by which we can eventually reach eternal perfection, and be like our Heavenly Father.

In short, justification is predicated on events: We are justified through acts--covenants made through ordinances, obedience, and repentance leading to a remission of sin. These events, as a result of our imperfection, must be repeated and refined through repentance. Sanctification is a process: We do the same things, but as we do them with perfected motivations and with diligence and consistency, we put ourselves on the path to exaltation. Justification allows us to one day stand in the presence of God and be pronounced clean. Sanctification is the means by which we can one day be like Him.

And so in truth, we needn't worry about being perfect. As we strive to be obedient, keep the commandments, and repent when necessary, the Lord will, through His grace, forgive us, and allow us to lean on His perfection. As we do so, we become sanctified as we strive to do so with a pure heart and those newly cleaned hands.

While the concept seems simple, in practice it is far more complicated. We are so easily reminded of our mistakes and shortcomings, and our limited perspective prevents us from remembered the scope of Christ's Atonement. We can often be far too hard on ourselves when we come up short, and thus only put ourselves deeper into a hole. Often we find ourselves believing what I call "The Fallacy of Perfectionism."

The Fallacy of Perfectionism

"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough" Julia Cameron

"It doesn’t take much imagination to explain what might drive a perfectionist to self-harm. The all-or-nothing, impossibly high standards perfectionists set for themselves often mean that they’re not happy even when they’ve achieved success. And research has suggested that anxiety over making mistakes may ultimately be holding some perfectionists back from ever achieving success in the first place." NY Magazine (http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/09/alarming-new-research-on-perfectionism.html)

The world would have us believe that perfection means that we are to be flawless. That our body is flawless, that our schoolwork is flawless, that we are flawless. The problem with that is it sets up a standard that we cannot possibly live up to. Christ's definition is very different. His standard for us is high, but He can apply something that the world can't: unbiased, perfect judgment based on love.

What's the difference? The difference is that His version of perfection doesn't mean that we must be flawless, but that we must try our very best to be. We will mess up. We will slip up. We will sin. But when that happens the remedy to regaining perfection as Christ defines it is to turn to Him and repent. His version of perfection carries with it the beautiful clause of forgiveness. Because He truly was flawless, He can offer us a remission of our sins, predicated on our obedience to simple requests of faith.

So we need not think that we must be flawless to tap into the immense amount of blessings that are in store for us in mortality and eternity. We must only remember our covenants strive to be obedient, and repent when necessary. This life is a process, and the perfection we hope to achieve will come naturally as we seek to live a life that is based on the gospel of Jesus Christ. If we seek to live that life, we will eventually become flawless--perfect just as our Father in heaven is perfect. 

Be Still My Soul

We find ourselves in a time in our world's history that has been marred by pure chaos. War has been a constant in the last century, with few to no nations left untouched by its destructive influence. Terrorism and other forms of violence come before us on a weekly basis, leaving grief in their wake. Contention has come to us like a plague, especially in the United States in this time of political maneuvering and treachery, and the focus on our differences as people has been far more examined and magnified. In these times, we desire to know how we can find reason for hope--reason and capacity to say "Be still, my soul." We are apt and certainly justified to ask ourselves "Where can I turn for peace?"

The Lord, in this time like no other, wants us to know the answer to that question.

If we try to find peace in the world, we will be met with inevitable disappointment. Some may turn to alcohol or drugs to find peace, not knowing that they're really just masking their problems with more problems. Others turn to equally destructive and addictive vices to escape personal chaos, and find nothing but more suffering.

The only way to find true peace is to seek out Him from whom all Good comes. It was Him, even Jesus Christ, who said, "Peace I leave with you; peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid" (John 14:26).

As we ask ourselves that question of where, and adding then how, we can find that peace, we can quickly find the way as we turn to Christ. Elder Quentin Cook said:

"The heavenly aspiration of good people everywhere has and always will be for peace in the world. We must never give up on achieving this goal...We earnestly hope and pray for universal peace, but it is as individuals and families that we achieve the kind of peace that is the promised reward of righteousness. This peace is a promised gift of the Savior’s mission and atoning sacrifice."

Every good thing has come to this fallen world in and through that atoning sacrifice of our Savior. The Christ suffered and died that we may have the chance to "overcome the world," just as He did (see John 16:33). As we see the Bad--the violence and the loudness and the unrest--we can look to that Good that has come from that most sacred selfless act of eternal service.

But how easy is it in practice? Is it easy to flip that switch of worry and angst over our personal struggles and tragedies? Absolutely not.

Elder Cook also taught: We all long for peace. Peace is not just safety or lack of war, violence, conflict, and contention. Peace comes from knowing that the Savior knows who we are and knows that we have faith in Him, love Him, and keep His commandments, even and especially amid life’s devastating trials and tragedies. The Lord’s answer to the Prophet Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail brings solace to the heart:

'My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.'" (see D&C 122:7-8)

Peace is a mindset. Peace can come in the midst of war, of intense persecution, and of heavy trial. It is completely independent of our circumstances. If we are faced toward our Savior, Jesus Christ, nothing can keep us from the cleansing perspective of peace.

When we reach that point, we can sing with all the confidence in our peaceful souls:

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed, we shall meet at last
(LDS Hymnbook 124)

So even as the world descends into greater chaos, and even as persecution increases and trials seems to weigh even heavier, we can have the peace to push us through--that peace that comes from Christ, and that is eternal and pure.

Pray and Labor

As a result of our physical separation from God, there will always be a level of unknown about our journeys here on Earth. We just don't know what's going to happen to us in a week, or tomorrow, or even an hour from now. Certainly we have been given tools. The scriptures provide general guidelines and commandments that can help us at least go into the unknown with a higher level of confidence. Patriarchal blessings provide personal insights into the blessings we may receive through faithfulness over the course of our lives. But these do not fill in the gaps of our knowledge of what is to come. And sometimes we have great desires to know what may be to come. We'd like to know who we can share the gospel with. We'd like to know how we can find our eternal companion, or how we can nurture the relationship we may already have with them. Often we may know how to accomplish some of these things, but would just like that help in actually doing it.

Enos was one who desired to change, and to know what the Lord would have him do. We all know that he prayed for forgiveness. But that was not all that he did. What he did serves as yet another blueprint that can allow us to go forth into the unknown with greater confidence. He records, "And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith" (Enos 1:12). 

Another scriptural example adds to this pattern. In the book of Alma, we read of Alma's travels and preaching, which led him to the wicked city of Ammoniah. Success didn't come as it had in Zarahemla or Gideon. But he was not deterred. Mormon records, "Alma labored much in the spirit, wrestling with God in mighty prayer, that he would pour out his Spirit upon the people who were in the city" (Alma 8:10). 

Enos wanted to know. Alma wanted to do. What they did to accomplish what they wanted was the same. They prayed, and then they labored. Prayer is the time when we make the determination, together with our Father, to do what is necessary to accomplish what we'd like to, or to learn what we need to know. But it is when we stand and go forth that we qualify ourselves for the fullness of that accomplishment or knowledge. That is faith in its intended form: prayer and labor.

Through Nephi, the Lord gave us insight into the importance of involving the Lord in our pursuits prior to action. "I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing into the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate they performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul" (2 Nephi 32:9). Prayer allows for perspective. Prayer allows for the opportunity to align our will to His. Prayer allows for last minute enlightenment before we begin to act. We lose out on the fullness of the Lord's aid if we seek to act without first going to Him in prayer. 

But the opposite is also true. Just the fact that we have prayed does not ensure that our problems will be magically fixed. We will not just immediately receive the knowledge that we desire, or be able to figure out how to accomplish that hard task we need help with. In truth, prayer really only goes as far as we are willing to act. Just as "faith without works is dead" (James 2:17), so is our prayer lacking in full worth if we don't take that step to accomplish that which we desire. The Lord has asked us to "be anxiously engaged in a good cause and do many things of [our] own free will" (D&C 58:27). And so we must seek to act.

So just as Enos and Alma, we must use prayer as the preparation, and then take the leap of faith. His promise for us is that if we will labor with our might, even without knowing fully what is it that we are to do, He will bless us accordingly. "And he said unto the first: Go ye and labor in the field,and in the first hour I will come unto you, and ye shall behold the joy of my countenance" (D&C 88:52). We know that Nephi, having received the command to obtain the brass plates, prayed, received visitation from angels, and had tremendous trust that the Lord would help him. Even still, he had to take the step of faith to head back into the city "not knowing beforehand the things which [he] should do" (1 Nephi 4:6). It was his willingness to act that allowed the blessing to come--Laban was delivered into his hands, and he was able to accomplish that which he and the Lord desired. The same is true of the knowledge that we desire. The Lord told Hyrum Smith, "If you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men" (D&C 11:21). But only if we act, "[putting our] trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good" (D&C 11:12).

This pattern of praying and laboring is one which has a tremendous effect on us. It will help us build our faith. As we act on the promptings we receive and the desires we have, consecrated through humble prayer, we will surely receive that which we seek. And if it so happens that what we desire is not what the Lord would have us receive at that given time, He will give us the comfort that we are at least acting in faith. He will give us that assurance--that peace. "Peace I give unto," he said, "Not as the world giveth give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid" (John 14:26).

In closing, I'd like to share this poignant quote by Brigham Young. He said, "When you have labored faithfully for years, you will learn this simple fact--that if your hearts are aright, and you still continue to be obedient, continue to serve God, continue to pray, the Spirit of revelation will be in you like a well of water springing up to eternal life. Let no person give up prayer because he has not the spirit of prayer, neither let any earthly circumstance hurry you while in the performance of this important duty. By bowing down before the Lord to ask him to bless you, you will simply find this result--God will multiply blessings on you temporally and spiritually."

Fatherhood

I am not a father. Yet, I have seen throughout the course of my life examples of extraordinary fathers who have been an incredible influence on not only their own children, but everyone around them. The role of father is one that has been set up by the Lord, and is a key part of the plan of salvation. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says this of that role:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection to their families." 

On this day that we take time to honor fathers, and their role and importance in the family, I would like to share some suggestions that the Prophet Ezra Taft Benson shared that fathers all over the world may increase the effect they have on their children in the area that it seems to be lacking most in our world today: the spiritual. As I do so, I wish to also honor my own father, who has be an incredible example to me of each of the suggestions given.

President Benson said, “With love in my heart for the fathers in Israel, may I suggest 10 specific ways that fathers can give spiritual leadership to their children."

1. "Give Father’s blessings to your children. Baptize and confirm your children. Ordain your sons to the priesthood. These will become the spiritual highlights in the lives of your children."

      Having a worthy priesthood holder is indescribably important for a family wishing to continue to progress spiritually, and take advantage of the abundance of opportunities that the gospel provides. My dad was always there. He baptized me. He ordained me to every office in the priesthood. His hands were on my head along with the Stake President as I was set apart as a full-time missionary. Every step along the path of my priesthood progression, my dad was there. Indeed, they represent some of the spiritual highlights of my life.

2.  "Personally direct family prayers, daily scripture reading, and weekly family home evenings. Your personal involvement will show your children how important these activities really are."

As we look for more examples of extraordinary fathers, we can find them rather easily in the Brethren of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. The testimonies of their children give us insight into how fathers can guide their children in the little tasks of keeping up spiritually. Of his father, Elder David Bednar's son said, "He has always gone to the real sources: the words of the prophets and the scriptures...[He] taught me to set goals and exercise faith. I want people to know that he is an ordinary man who can do extraordinary things because of the strength of the Lord. He is a living witness of the enabling power of the Atonement." Indeed, those daily moments of scripture study and prayer, along with weekly family home evenings, can be powerful moments of instruction, wherein a father can set a foundation for his children: a foundation of Christ. As was directed to the ancient Israelites: "These words...shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

      3. "Whenever possible, attend Church meetings together as a family. Family worship under your leadership is vital to your children’s spiritual welfare."
   
      That same scripture from the Old Testament directs that we as parents, including fathers, should teach the words of eternal life in the home, as well as "when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." There is certain power that comes when a priesthood holder can attend church faithfully with his family, and lead the way in doing so. The mothers of this Church are so very faithful and proactive in getting their little ones ready for meetings. What foundation can we lay in the minds and hearts of our children if we as men can exercise our priesthood, teaching our children "by the way" as we are proactive in assisting our wives in the task of prepping for church attendance? As I have looked back on my childhood and adolescence, I have realized how much I took for granted the blessing that it was to attend church with my entire family, with my mother and father leading the way. We shouldn't let that be withheld from our children because of laziness or pursuits in far less important endeavors on the Sabbath. 

   
      4.    "Go on daddy-daughter dates and father-and-sons’ outings with your children."

   
   5.   " Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children."

   
      I consider myself to be as blessed as Nephi, in the sense that I was also born of goodly parents, who instructed me, and helped build my faith. Likewise, just as Lehi, my own father often "dwelt in a tent." Camping was (and still is when possible) our great family tradition. We took our trailer to the mountains, to the beach, and seemingly everywhere in between. It was there that we were able to build our unity as a family as we played sports, played board games, and especially as we were forced to be around each other in a very small pop-up trailer. Indeed, experiences like these will never be forgotten. As we strive for such experiences, we can experience the joy that the great King Benjamin describes: "For behold, [these families] are blessed in all things; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God [and together] in a state of never-ending happiness" (Mosiah 2:41).

      6.     " Have regular one-on-one visits with your children. Let them talk about what they would like to. Teach them gospel principles. Teach them true values. Tell them you love them. Personal time with your children tells them where Dad puts his priorities."

      Elder Neil Andersen's children have spoken of the great strength they received by personal time with their father. His daughter said, "Daddy always made time for the children. For example, he took each one individually to breakfast with him once a month. He let us pick the place for breakfast and the topics we would talk about. We looked so forward to having his undivided attention." Many of the problems that our children have, especially as they get into their years of teen angst and rebellion--that time when we seem to feel that nobody understands us--can be solved as a humble and genuine father takes time out of his probably very busy schedule to give their undivided and full attention to the concerns that their children have. A small conversation, ending with a hug and one of the most powerful combinations of three word phrases known to man--"I love you"--can make all the difference in the lives of our growing children. 

   
      7.    "Teach your children to work, and show them the value of working toward a worthy goal."

      I remember a day when I was about fifteen when my dad came to me, and told me that one of the great regrets that he had in his life was failing to earn his Eagle Scout. He invited me in love to not make the same mistake, but instead to make it a goal to get mine. It took me to the last day, as I finished up my last merit badges a day before my 18th birthday, but I did do it. As I would look at the hard work necessary to keep going forward, and wonder if it was worth it, that invitation that he gave me would come up in my mind. He was there to help me during my Eagle Scout project, which turned into a lot more work than expected because of several setbacks. He was always there to keep me going, because he knew what the reward would be if I would just keep going. He was a rock, and the epitome of a principle Paul taught: "Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight paths for you feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed" (Hebrews 12:12-13). Such should be the constant attitude of fathers to their children.

   
      8.     "Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever."

   
      The Lord told Joseph Smith, "Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith" (D&C 88:118). He also told Emma Smith, "For my soul delighted in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads" (D&C 25:12). These blessings are real, and I saw them in my home. We were encouraged to read, and to listen to music. My dad would play the piano and the guitar, and music has become something that he and I share, and it has been a blessing in my life.

      9.      "As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit."

      There are few things that we can teach our children that are more important than the eternal importance of the temple. It is there that families are bound for time and for all eternity. It is there that the more important blessings are promised and opportunities are provided. Eternal priorities may be set in the hearts and minds of our children as we attend with our wives. They will know that the goal for them is temple marriage. They will know that there is nothing more important in terms of our worship than to live worthily of a temple recommend. It is a lesson my parents have taught me, and one my dad continues to teach, as he serves weekly and faithfully as a temple worker.

      10.   "Have your children see your joy and satisfaction in service to the Church. This can become contagious to them, so they, too, will want to serve in the Church and will love the kingdom."

      

      Just as Lehi gained a great desire that his family should partake of the fruit he partook of, that fruit representing the gospel, and most specifically the Atonement, we as father's must do all that we can to provide our children with the opportunity to be successful in the gospel. At the end of the day that is what is most important. As we provide them with powerful examples of what faithful service is, they will have a blueprint. As we strive to live the gospel, we will be able to testify as Lehi: "As I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knee that it was desirable above all other fruit" (1 Nephi 8:12). And the Lord will help us accomplish it.

      I express a Happy Father's Day to all you fathers, and especially my own, and pray that you will continue to guide your families toward that goal of eternal life.

Pondering

When the Savior made His visit to the people of the ancient America's, He taught them, He healed them, He sat with them. When the first day of His visit was near its end He surveyed the state of the congregation before Him, and said, "I perceive that ye are weak, that ye cannot understand all my words...Therefore, go ye unto your home's, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand" (3 Nephi 17:2-3). We live in a time that busy and loud. It is often hard to get away from the bustle and the noise of everyday life, and to find peace in their midst. Sometimes we even impose these distractions on ourselves as we opt to plug into the distractions of social media, television, video games, etc. In a time of so much confusion and misunderstanding, these distractions can prove very harmful if they distract us from the promptings of the Spirit. Indeed, as the Savior said, we are weak, and often cannot understand the mysteries of God, and therefore must ponder.

Elder Hans Ringger said the following back in a 1994 General Conference: "This is the question we ask in uncertain times or when confronted with new challenges. We may answer with unreflective action, hoping to find solutions merely through results. Fortunately the Lord understands us better than we understand ourselves. The gospel teaches us first to ponder and develop faith. Only after we have honestly decided in favor of good, based on the gospel, can we bring forth righteous deeds. Active faith leads to good works. We will receive the strength from above to strive toward what is right."

In this era of confusion and distraction, the remedy is pondering. I will share 3 scriptural accounts that show just 3 of the specific benefits of taking time to step back and ponder.


"Ponder the path of thy feet, and let thy ways be established" (Proverbs 4:26).

Our nature as mortal beings with mortal bodies and incomplete knowledge ensures one important constant: we will mess up, we will sin, we will fall short. As such, humble recognition is required for us to begin to take the steps necessary to get back on the path and head for our main goal of eternal life. The oft-quoted first step of addiction recovery applies also in our entire sojourn in mortality: "The first step is [realizing] you have a problem." Often, it is only when we take a step back and ponder do we come to a complete enough recognition of our shortcomings to spark a desire to change. A deep reflection on the question "what lack I yet?" may be necessary, as Elder Larry Lawrence described:

"We came [to Earth] to learn and improve until we gradually become sanctified or perfected in Christ. The journey of discipleship is not an easy one. It has been called a 'course of steady improvement.'As we travel along that strait and narrow path, the Spirit continually challenges us to be better and to climb higher. The Holy Ghost makes an ideal traveling companion. If we are humble and teachable, He will take us by the hand and lead us home."

The Spirit will teach us as we take time to ponder our current course in mortality with a desire to see where we can improve. Thus, as Proverbs says, our ways can be established. Pondering is great for re-evaluating ourselves.


"For it came to pass after I had desired to know the things that my father had seen, and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me, as I sat pondering in mine heart I was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea into an exceedingly high mountain, which I never had before seen, and upon which I never had before set my foot" (1 Nephi 11:1).

It was in this high mountain (it is helpful to remember that Hebrew symbology often uses mountains to represent the temple) that Nephi received not only an explanation if his father's dream, but also a vision of the immediate, near, and not so near future of his people, as well as the coming of the Savior. Truly his pondering allowed him to be open to not just the revelation he was seeking at the moment, but also that which would inspire him to teach and lead for the remainder of his mortal life. As he would later record, "We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach if Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins" (2 Nephi 25:26).

Indeed, if we would take the time to ponder on the things we've learned, and as we seek for greater understanding of those things, the Lord will teach us. He will show us what it is we should know, and what we should to do, in order to have the spiritual confidence to move forward. Pondering is great for receiving revelation and direction.


"And it came to pass that Nephi went his way towards his own house, pondering the things upon which the Lord had shown unto him. And it came to pass as he was thus pondering--being much cast down...behold, a voice came unto him saying: Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done" (Helaman 10:2-4).

This Nephi, a descendant of the first, received in his moment of ponderance something that many of us find ourselves lacking in our day to day lives. As he thought about his calling as a minister, he became overwhelmed. His efforts had been constant, his diligence exemplary, and yet the people chose to reject him. Surely we have all had moments when we have tried our very best and given all that we have, and yet the results have been less than satisfying. Sometimes this lack of success leads us to wonder if it's worth it to keep trying at all. Our loving Heavenly Father understands how hard our lives can seem at times, and is ever willing to give us what He gave Nephi:

Encouragement.

Just as Nephi pondered the promises given him, and the unshakeable testimony that he possessed, if we can learn to turn our thoughts to God in moments of apparent failure, He will let us know that it is worth it. That we shouldn't give up. That He's proud of us. In His way He'll tell us, "Blessed art thou, for those things which thou hast done." Truly, pondering is great for encouragement.


It is important that we ponder. Pondering allows us to put things into perspective. Our lives are often chaotic and confusing and fast-paced and downright hard. It's important to take time on a daily basis--take a timeout! Take a step back from all the chaos to deeply meditate what's happening around us and why. If we can do that, things will be a lot less stressful--it'll be a lot harder for us to question God's intentions with us. Why? Because when we ponder life, love, and the gospel, we are humbly inviting the Spirit to help us understand.

The late Elder Richard G. Scott wrote, "Find a retreat of peace and quiet where periodically you can ponder and let the Lord establish the direction of your life. It may seem difficult to find time to meditate with the daily pressures of life. Yet a moment of thought will confirm that no matter how fast you move forward, if you are on the wrong path, it will avail to nothing.”

If we can take that time, we will recognize our faults and make plans to correct them, we will find direction in spite of the chaos, and we will find the encouragement to press forward when it seems that things aren't going right.